How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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