Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh god the rape fog is back!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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