that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize