So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
