Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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