I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
