Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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