question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
