Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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