i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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