Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
