Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
