batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
