Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So much rum. So many feels.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize