the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
