Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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