i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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