Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
