I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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