I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
