new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
