but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
