I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
