proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
