is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
