just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
