i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
