chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize