Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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