Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
