shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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