So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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