If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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