operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
