I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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