Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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