are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
