Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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