...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
