This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What a dumb baby whore.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
