Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
