I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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