it was like his penis was on wheels.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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