What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
