All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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