good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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