is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the day after is always just damage control
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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