found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
