I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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