she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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