you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
