you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
