You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
oh god the rape fog is back!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just found puke in my bra..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
