Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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