I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
