His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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