In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
