Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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