I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
