did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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