Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
