chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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